what kind of feeling should i have now?

Although tomorrow , my grandma will do her operation on tomorrow at9 am .
but now my , i did not feel worry , or sad? happy
hmm, how to said that le..
just back from Hospital , and have a nice chat with my Grandma .
From her, i know that now she really nt afraid of doing operation ,
what she want now she faster back to home .(that is what i think )
and just now , i was all the time holding her hand.
(really think that she is so old dee, must rest more when she back home )
hmm, but of coz .what i really wish is she can back to normal days.
always shout at me in the morning and wake me up go school .
at night always remind me to sleep early ,and always force me to eat breakfast , lunch , and dinner.
yesterday, when i talk to someone on phone at night , she is the one who always said"don't talk so much , go sleep lo ".
hmm, really waiting her to come back
because i got so many nice place to take her go .
May god Bless her in the operation .
At this moment , i really wish to have a boyfriend which is a doctor .
then i can ask him anytime about my grandma situation ..
haha